


Lost

by jinyien



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Heavy Angst, Lost Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-20 07:17:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16132349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinyien/pseuds/jinyien
Summary: Mark had been Jinyoung's everything. There was a time when they both meant the world to each other. But all that changed after Jinyoung got into a toxic side relationship after a traumatic experience, and everything positive he had been seeped out of his body; changing him as a person. Despite all that, Mark stayed right by Jinyoung's side, no matter how badly he was treated by Jinyoung. But there's only so much a person can take, right? Eventually Mark put his foot down and stood up for himself, leaving Jinyoung. Now all alone, Jinyoung's soul shattered into pieces. Deep down inside, Mark still meant everything to him, he was Jinyoung's life line, and because of his mistakes, he had lost his other half.2 years later, as he still struggled with the after effects, Jinyoung runs into Mark and all his old friends. Mark, now a completely different person, won't acknowledge him. Will Jinyoung be able to win the love of his life back? Will his friends ever forgive him? Will he get his old life back, or will his mistakes haunt him forever?





	Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I'm back after ages, life had got to me, as I was busy with moving and transferring universities, but I'm back! I mean I'm still busy, but this is something small that I started :) I hope you enjoy it! (It's very angsty but don't worry, it will have a satisfying ending!)

“How pathetic do you think I am Jinyoung?” 

Mark’s voice echoed throughout the dimly lit room, seemingly louder than the harsh pitter patter of the rain hitting the flimsy glass windows of the dormitory. He stood leaning against the wall by the entrance, arms crossed and lips pursed as he looked at Jinyoung with a sense of finality. Jinyoung cocked his head to the side, looking at the elder in mild confusion as he flicked through Tinder, frowning at the lack of satisfactory matches. 

“What?” Jinyoung asked, scrunching his eyebrows at the explosion of messages in his inbox from a rather unattractive middle-aged man. 

“Wow, does this old as fuck bald guy think he has a chance with me? The delusion some people have on this app is astonishing,” he said chuckling. 

Jinyoung yawned, putting his phone down as he stretched his limbs out on the couch, propping his feet up on the old rickety coffee table. Scoffing Mark stood up. He threw his jacket over his shoulders and walked up to the younger. 

“Did you even listen to what I said?” he asked stiffly. 

Jinyoung shrugged, shaking his head. The younger stared intently at Mark’s morphing expression. Jinyoung always thought the elder looked rather fascinating whenever he showed signs of anger. His deep brown eyes darkened with cold rage and his plump pink lips stretched out into a grimace. Mark swore, running his large hands through his lush blonde hair. His shirt rode up a bit, exposing his abs. Jinyoung stared in fascination. The white shirt he wore clung to his toned chest and abs, and the ripped jeans hugged his thighs just right. Jinyoung bit his lips, running his eyes down the elder’s body. Mark clicked his fingers, snapping Jinyoung out of his daze. 

“I said, how pathetic do you think I am Jinyoung? What do you take me for?” the blonde asked in an icy voice, pulling up a chair and sitting down onto it. 

 

“What are you even talking about? Look can we just get on with it today, I have to get up early tomorrow,” Jinyoung drawled, feeling bored. 

Jinyoung met an unbelievably attractive man earlier on the day at a bar. Luckily for him, the man had turned out to be a CEO of one of the biggest businesses in the country. Jinyoung had flirted heavily with the other, running his hands over the guy’s arms and rubbing his thighs against the other’s. As usual, it worked like a charm, and the guy fallen for him. After a hot make out session in the VIP section of said bar, and a quick fuck in the bathroom, the guy had invited Jinyoung over to his penthouse tomorrow morning. Jinyoung smirked thinking about it. He only went for the best.

Mark let out a bitter chuckle, making Jinyoung turn to him. 

“You’re unbelievable,” Mark scoffed, shaking his head. 

“What?” Jinyoung asked annoyed. 

Mark looked at him with an unreadable expression, his eyes darkening. Jinyoung shifted uncomfortably on his couch, squirming under his gaze. 

“Ok, let me just get to the point. What am I to you Jinyoung?” Mark asked, looking at him intently. 

Jinyoung blinked, caught off guard. He tilted his head, staring at the other open mouthed. Mark raised his eyebrow, looking at him expectedly. 

“Um…uh, I don’t know? I don’t really have a label for it…” he murmured, scratching his head, gulping. 

Mark laughed humorlessly, clicking his tongue. 

Jinyoung’s heart lurched. 

“You’re honestly amazing Jinyoung. You slept with me for years, using me to cheat on your multiple boyfriends. All the while you made me think that we were an official couple. After I caught you fucking one of them on my bed, you begged me to stay, and told me that you’ll break up with all of them. Of course, I believed you like a dumbass. While we ‘dated exclusively’, you still fucked other men on the side. Then, once I found that out, you still didn’t let me leave, and you still continue sleep with me all the while fucking anyone that moves. Not to mention the fact that you act jealous when Jaebeom jokingly flirts with me. So, tell me Park Jinyoung, what the FUCK am I to you?” Mark asked, voice raising with each sentence. 

Jinyoung looked at the other stunned, his eyes widening and throat drying out. 

“Wh-what do you mean?” 

Mark smiled thinly.

“My question is simple Jinyoung, what am I to you? What importance do I hold in your life? Am I just a simple fuck buddy? Am I even that? Because frankly Jinyoung, I’ve had enough,” Mark said monotonously. 

Jinyoung swallowed thickly. Mark’s eyes looked blank, devoid of the usual life they held. They left him perturbed. He shifted uncomfortably under the intense gaze. Jinyoung pursed his lips, fiddling with his fingers. 

“Why are you being like this all of a sudden? Can’t we just fuck and I’ll see you later on tomorrow night?” Jinyoung mumbled, trying his best to sound as indifferent as he could. 

“Incredible, do you seriously believe that I’ll just ignore everything you’ve done to me and go back to fucking you? I’ve given you so many chances, so fucking many to finally treat me right but you never do. I can’t do this anymore, we’re done. Funny how I say that as if we were anything to begin with,” Mark said with twisted grin. 

“I’ve got ample time you know, honestly I would prefer to leave as soon as possible, but I really do need answers, so I’ll just chill here until you stop being a coward and talk me like a fucking adult,” he continued as he sat down, leaning his head onto his hand. 

The elder’s gaze bored into Jinyoung’s face, flicking around, searching. Jinyoung felt heat spreading down his face and onto his chest. He gulped, his heart beating hard. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Mark’s words felt like small thorns, prickling him all over. His mind spun with unease and a dull throbbing pain radiated throughout his chest. 

What was Mark to him? 

He honestly doesn’t remember a point in his life when Mark had not been there for him. He had always been there, gentle and ever present. Mark was many things to him. His first friend, his first kiss, his first relationship, the one who he lost his virginity to, and at one point, his everything. 

When had things changed? Jinyoung honestly could not pinpoint it. He had just changed as a person. Many things had changed. But not Mark. Mark had always been there. Always. 

What did Mark mean to him? He didn’t know; but Mark had to be there. With him. Always. 

The rain hit the windowsill harder, filling the room with a melodic melancholy. Mark looked at him seemingly bored, his eyes filled with a plethora of emotions. Each flick of the elder’s eyes made Jinyoung shiver. His heart thumped uneasily. The dim lights from outside the window shone down onto Mark, bathing him in a pale cerulean hue. The flecks of light glinted in his eyes, making them look like distant clusters of stars. Jinyoung’s chest constricted painfully. 

“Wait, no what? What do you mean we’re done?” Jinyoung asked, panic beginning to seep through him. 

“Stop picking and choosing what to respond to, answer my first fucking question. What am I to you?” Mark asked, voice sharp. 

Jinyoung’s hands began to tremble. 

“I, um, I don’t know,” he murmured, staring at a strand of hair falling onto Mark’s forehead. 

Mark let out a humorless giggle. He stood up, walking closer and coming to stand right before Jinyoung. 

“You don’t know or you don’t want to admit it? Ok, let me help you out here. Am I your boyfriend?” Mark asked dully. 

Jinyoung grit his teeth and shook his head. Mark smiled grimly at that. 

“Am I your friend?” he continued. 

“What? Of cours-“

“Don’t fucking lie to me Jinyoung, we were friends once, you were one of my best friends. But not anymore. You don’t treat me like a friend anymore, and haven’t for ages. I don’t even know what’s happening in your life anymore because you never tell me, and you don’t know anything about mine anymore because you never bother to ask. You didn’t even wish me on my fucking birthday. So, no, don’t lie to me, we aren’t friends,” Mark said letting out a sardonic laugh, running a shaking hand through his hair. 

He took a long breath before sighing and looking back down at Jinyoung. 

“Now that we got that sorted out, let me summarize it for you. Since our ‘relationship’, doesn’t mean anything, I’m going to end whatever the fuck this is and I’m going to leave,” Mark said with a tone of finality. 

Jinyoung’s eyes widened and he stood up swiftly. 

“Leave? What do you mean leave?” he asked, his voice soft and filled with uncertainty. 

“Leave Jinyoung, for good, I won’t be seeing you anymore. I’m standing up for myself, I’ve given you enough chances,” Mark said, turning towards the door. 

Jinyoung let out a strangled noise, lurching forward he grabbed onto the back of the elder’s jacket.

“Stop, you can’t,” he said faintly. 

Mark spun around, a pained look on his face. He walked forward, backing Jinyoung into a wall. His eyes dark and sullen. He trapped Jinyoung in between his arms. Jinyoung’s heart thundered in his chest, all his nerve endings coming to life at the feeling of Mark’s breath hitting neck. 

“Why not Jinyoung? So that you can just pick me up and use me whenever and however you want, only to throw me away again? I’m not a fucking toy. Do you really expect me to stay so I can be your last choice again? Someone you use when no one wants to be with you? Why the fuck would I stay? So you can manipulate and lie to me again and again? No Jinyoung, I’m fucking done. I can and will leave,” Mark said, his voice low and rough. 

Jinyoung shook his head vigorously, he raised his shaking hands and grabbed onto Mark’s shirt. Tears pricked his eyes, threatening to drop. He looked up, cupping one of his hands onto the elder’s cheeks. 

“Don’t- Please, just- Don’t go,” Jinyoung said, his voice weak and wrecked. 

Terror, anguish and confusion surged through him, making him feel weak and defenseless. 

“Let go Jinyoung,” Mark whispered, his face blank.

Jinyoung shook his head, gripping onto him tighter. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His mind began to flash with an onslaught of memories; Mark asking him out for the first time ever, his cheeks red and hair flowing in the gentle wind as they sat on top a roof under the starry night sky; Mark kissing him for the first time on top of a snowy hill; Mark comforting him as he sobbed in the elder’s arms after the doctors broke the news that they could not save his mother; memory after memory floated around his mind, twisting and spinning around like a kaleidoscope. 

The tears finally gave up and fell down, flowing down the soft curves of his face and down onto his shirt. Not being able to hold himself back any longer, Jinyoung let out a choked sob and flung himself onto Mark, smashing his lips against the elder’s. Mark let out a sound of surprise, eyes widening and body stiffening up. Jinyoung tilted his head to the side, his arms wrapped around Mark’s neck, gripping onto him tighter. When Jinyoung slipped his tongue into Mark’s mouth, the elder let out a noise of defeat and wrapped his arms around the other’s waist, smashing them both together even more. Mark kissed him back furiously, pushing him back onto the wall. Jinyoung moaned in satisfaction, still trembling with a rush of emotions. He gasped, his whole body buzzing with pleasure when he felt Mark nip his lower lip, sucking it into his mouth. He felt drunk with want, fisting his hands in Mark’s thick hair, pulling it. Mark groaned, gripping Jinyoung’s waist tighter. He lifted the other into his arms, Jinyoung whined in satisfaction, wrapping his legs around Mark’s waist. Mark moved from his mouth to his throat and neck, nipping and leaving wet kisses all over. He left bite marks all over his throat and neck, moving to suck on his collar bone. Jinyoung gasped, his mouth open and head thrown back in pleasure. 

“Mark,” Jinyoung whimpered, his voice thick with emotion. 

Mark froze hearing him. He stopped his actions and looked up at Jinyoung, a broken look on his face. He let go of the younger, stepping backwards. Jinyoung let out a pained noise, his whole body wracked with sobs as he slid onto the floor. He looked up at Mark, eyes blurred with tears. He blindly grabbed at the elder’s hand and held it tightly. 

“Please, don’t go, don’t leave me,” Jinyoung let out, sobbing, gripping onto Mark’s hand like a lifeline. 

Mark looked down at him with gloom, his hands clenched into fists. He leaned down, cupping Jinyoung’s face and tilting it towards him. Jinyoung gasped, looked at him with big eyes. Mark eyed him wistfully, sighed and pressed his lips back onto his gently. Jinyoung pressed himself onto Mark, reveling in the feeling. Mark kissed him softly, leaving pecks him all over his face. He moved back, eyeing Jinyoung with a rush of emotions. The elder leaned in once more and kissed him on the forehead. 

“You know, you’re an asshole but I still can’t leave without showing you how fucking much you mean to me. I'm so weak. It’ll be so hard to let you go when you meant the world to me. You were my entire universe Park Jinyoung, but this really is goodbye. I hope you can find the good in you again, you lost it somehow, but I hope you can change yourself, goodbye ‘Nyoung, see you again someday, maybe,” Mark said softly. 

He smiled lightly, standing up and walked out the door, shutting it loudly. Jinyoung let out a strangled yell, falling onto the floor and sobbing as anguish surged through him in torrents. He lay on the floor, curled into a ball as he cried himself hoarse, not caring as he lost his voice. His whole world felt blank, dark. Nothing mattered anymore. He felt numb. 

He lost everything. 

He his universe left him.

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 will be up very soon hopefully!


End file.
